Nearly every time a couple is on the sad road to divorce one or both spouses say something that unintentionally causes them to take full responsibility for the breakup of the marriage. Don't believe me? Think for a moment about the most common phrase that people say when a relationship is ending.
Did you think of it? It's "I don't love you anymore." Now, let's go back to grade school for a minute and break down this sentence. What's the verb? That's right, it's "love". So, in this sentence, "love" is the action word. Although, when it is used this way, it's more withholding the action. So, the person who is saying it is actually saying he or she is no longer providing the actions that express the feeling (or noun) of love.
One major problem in our society today is that we have become consumed with the noun "love". We base our relationships on the feelings we get when we are around each other. If the feelings are warm and comfortable, our relationship is healthy. If they are uncomfortable or they don't exist at all, something is seriously wrong.
One of the most fundamental things that Jesus called us to do was to "love (verb) one another". It is important to recognize he wasn't asking us to "feel love (noun) for one another". Relationships were always meant to be about action. Healthy relationships are made up of people who are serving one another. The problem with a lot of marriages and even friendships is that as these relationships mature, we settle into a comfort zone. We no longer invest the time, words, and actions that forged these relationships in the first place.
C.S. Lewis summarized the importance of actions in a relationship extremely well when he said, "Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.”
Take stock of your current relationships and think about how you feel about them. If there are people in your life that are making you feel bad or nothing at all, I'd love (verb) you to consider this advice.
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